08 February 2008

A Plethora of Negative Cognition

Nifty phrases always stick with me more than their meaning. Sometimes I'll listen to Diane Rehms or Science Friday on Talk of the Nation and I'll think how smart I am cause I understand the big words, completely forgetting to actually listen to the content.

My thesis seems stalled. I've got my opinion down...ish. But I can't find the research to support it. Not that I find contradictory research, I'm finding nothing on the artists I'm so keen on using that benefits my topic... so stalled.
I seem to stall on either the thesis or the work at any given time, both are pretty ambitious, which means I can't really pause the work on either. Studio work's going forward, I've got a lot to do, and some aspects of it I have never attempted before so of course I'm stalling on them. (sensing a theme?) I'm going to pipe in auto over top each piece, I know what I am going to record and the simplest and first step is to record several tracks of myself whispering these phrases, to be played simultaneously. Later I want to manipulate them some, but to start just the raw voices is all I need and it's really simple to do in garage band, but I still haven't gotten around to it, guess I'm still trying to figure out where I can without the background interference I got the first time I tried. But I think if I put up my piece for the NASAD walk around without it it will be lacking, so thats what, two days really if i want it up by Sunday night.

There are some other things I'm stalling on, little things that I need to push the work and frankly I need to do them like now, May ain't that far away people and I sure as hell don't want to be here another year or another semester. So this is my last chance, last hooray, whatever you call it... so what if every other senior seems to be able to function better, stronger, faster than me, so what if I my social life has stalled to the point of atrophy, so what if all I'm trying to do seems to only be leading to solely advance my internal over thinking and won't to contribute on any professional level. I'm still closer to a piece a paper that will give me status in our society, closer than I have ever been... and a status I wouldn't otherwise think I deserve. I can go out, look pretty and turn my brain off on May 18th... right... it's over and life will be shiny and carefree right... well that's what the brochure said!
f-ing liars

02 February 2008

Mid year block

I think my convoluted thought process that has lead me to creating my current works has started to confuse even me. I think i need to do like a flow chart. Or maybe like 6 degrees of sparartion to figure out how these ideas really did go together. I feel talked out, too many times i tried to explain, there's a degradation with every attempt something is left out...
Wow, this post turned into a pity party. Well i'll truck on through and get back to it